Phil the Conquistadork reviews “Pony Island”

Pony Island is just the sort of game I was expecting for 2016. After the massive underground success of the 4th wall breaking darling that is Undertale, I was prepared for the onslaught of indie titles that pushed the button of being self aware. But what tickles me about Pony Island in particular is that…

Phil the Conquistadork reviews “Fallout 4: Automatron”

Out of all the AAA game developers who generate DLC, you’d be hard pressed to find a company better suited for the job than Bethesda. Huge games bearing expansive and unique pieces of DLC: whether it’s the epic fantasy of the Elder Scrolls or the silent stealth of Dishonored. And obviously, the Fallout franchise is no exception.

The Conquistadork Reviews “Far Cry: Primal”

To me, there are very few games in the world that better represent the surrealist aspect of action games than the Far Cry franchise. And to be clear: Far Cry is not The Expendibles. Far Cry is a draft of The Expendibles script as written by Hunter S. Thompson. Explosions, drugs, and an arsenal that would make Alexander The Great blush.

The Conquistadork Reviews “XCOM 2”

Let’s face it: this world is full of addictions. Sex, drugs, girl scout cookies: they’re all over the place. We’ve all got our poisons, and the XCOM franchise is one of mine. With its heavy customization and blend of city-building strategy and turn-based combat, it combines a huge number of the things that have charmed me over to the world of video games since my youth. The reboot of the original classic was released in 2012 to pretty universal praise, and the knowledge that a sequel would coming our way this year was enough to make fans like me shit an emotional brick of elerium and alien alloys. What are this sequel’s pros and cons? Well, it turns out that there’s plenty of both to go around.

Backlog Beatdown: Game Of Thrones

Welcome back to Backlog Beatdown, where I attempt to kick water uphill by playing and reviewing games on my considerable Steam backlog. Today, we’re going to talk about Game Of Thrones: A Telltale Game Series. With a new season from both the television show and the game series lurking on the horizon, I thought it would be smart to put this game to bed once and for all. Of course, when you’re talking about George R. R. Martin’s famous brutality machine of a series, the bed you’re putting it in might contain someone you’re related to, so watch yourself.

The Conquistadork Reviews “Firewatch”

Before I even begin, I’m going to address the fact that I’ve never felt any distaste or enmity for the expression “walking simulator”. For the uninitiated, “walking simulator” refers to any of the great number of indie games that have been released in the past five years or so that seem to get everyone into…