The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

Next-gen becomes current-gen, quack psychics shuffling loose this mortal coil, and your grandma just won’t stop posting about Obama being a Muslim who stole her cat–it’s been a wild week.

In the interest of throwing some interesting things for you, my darling readers, to discuss and glow or foam about–here is my first installment of this week’s The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.

"Seriously, Conquistadork--hasn't that theme been done to death?"

“Seriously, Conquistadork–hasn’t that theme been done to death?”

The Good: Books For Game Designers Reading List

Being that game design is such an enormously young profession, it comes as no surprise that budding code monkeys hardly know where to begin.  Sure, there are colleges and universities that offer programs, but many of them are massively expensive, with little to no guarantee that you’ll know what you’re doing by the time you graduate.  So where does one go for guidance?  Where does one start?

Fortunately, game designer Chelsea Howe knows those frustrations all too well, and after consulting the deep blue sea of the internet, put together a reading list for newbie game designers.  The list includes the practical books on design that one would expect, but also covers deeper thoughts on design and the world around us–all topics that are important for someone who wants to change the world with this beautiful new art form that we have.

Prospective gamewrights can read the list here.

Bad: Nerf Rebelle

I saw this for the first time after my most recent night of karaoke and gravy biscuits.

Which, of course, inspired this:

Yeah, I’d been drinking.

There’s so much wrong with this idea that I don’t even know where to begin.  From the notion that girls perhaps didn’t already enjoy Nerf guns, to the idea that the only way a girl would ever want to have fun is if we paint the damn thing pink.  On top of all of that, this is clearly trying to hop on board of some sort of female-oriented Hunger Games craze, in which our female protagonist is about as far from the pink-wearing, pretty pretty princess kind of girl you can get.  So who the hell is Nerf Rebelle for??

I don’t know, but this latest insult to foam-flavored weaponry just pisses me off.

The Ugly: The XBOX One Game Day Achievement

For those of you who recently took up crystal meth as an afternoon hobby, the XBOX One released today, thus renewing all of our memberships in the “SkyNet is totally a real thing and it’s on its way” Club.

"I am your doom."

“I am your doom.”

In an effort to give us a taste of our own crippling addiction as early as possible, Microsoft put a certificate with a code for a “Thank you for joining us on Game Day” Achievement.  It’s a cute idea–a novelty trinket at best.  And this American generation being what it is, you can imagine what lit up the eBay circuit boards today.  That’s right: people are selling them.  Which wouldn’t be so horrible, but apparently people are fucking paying for them.

And that’s the true sign of why this is so damned depressing.  Not that someone will look at something that has absolutely no value and ask for fifty bucks to sell it.  That’s normal.  If you ask me for my sharpie-covered 2012 kitten calendar, I’ll sell it for as high as you’ll pay.  And as I toss that crinkled monstrosity into your back seat, I know that I’m not the sad one.  You and your light wallet are.

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